It was the 1st August.
I had already spent 2 nights in hospital and met 2 other lovely mummas in the same predicament as me. We were in a pre-natal shared room. All of us had pre-eclampsia, one of them worse than me, she had been in hospital for a week!
I spent the last few days, trying to relax, reading up on post c-section recovery and mentally preparing myself. I kept looking out the window at the lovely blue sky. I wanted to go outside for a breather but for some reason I never made it out. I did laps of the ward to stretch my legs, I heard newborn babies crying and I saw guests come and go, some with big balloons and flowers and here I was waddling at a snails pace, with a "help me get this thing out of me - I've had enough" look on my face.
D ordered a hospital meal for himself and we had a romantic last meal as a twosome on my hospital bed. The food at this hospital was delicious. I quickly learnt that if you ticked everything on the menu, they would give it to you. Jelly? tick. Ice cream? tick. cheesecake? tick.
Unfortunately D couldn't stay with me that night because I was in a shared room. He came into my bed and lay down beside me while we watched TV. I cried. I sobbed. I ugly cried. I was feeling anxious and more so that I couldn't have him there to keep me company. He gave me a kiss and said it was all going to be ok, we'll meet our little girl in the morning and he would be here first thing.
I was talking with the girl in the bed next to me and the midwife came in at 10 and told us to go to sleep, that we both had a big day ahead tomorrow. I had to fast from midnight and at 12am the midwife gave me one last glass of water and took my water jug away. I was obsessed with the ice machine at the hospital, it made the perfect crushed ice!! My c-section was scheduled for 730am.
I got up just before 6 and had a nice long shower. I didn't know when I would be able to shower again, D arrived shortly after. I couldn't believe that the day was here! I was so excited, smiling ear to ear. It was intense. Thats the thing about a scheduled c-section is that you have a long time to think about what is about to happen and that was overwhelming. Vancy, My favourite midwife was on shift (I got to know everyone by the end of it) and she got me ready. They made my bed, told me to strip and put a gown on. She measured me up for some pressure stockings and put them on.
I was ready! It was 730. It was go time.
A lovely older man came in and told me he would be looking after me today. He was chirpy and cracking jokes. He was also a footy fanatic and kept giving it to D about the team he plays for. They gave me a vile of something to drink and it tasted horrible. I sculled it like a champ. He wheeled me through the ward to a lift that would take us down to theatre.
When we got out of the lift my OB was there! yay! He's so awesome :) He took D away to get dressed and I met another nurse. They pushed me through more corridors and D met me at the other end. At this point I was on the verge of tears. They wheeled me to the theatre door where I met the anaesthetist. She was lovely. She was explaining what she was about to do but I wasn't listening. I remember slapping the top of my hand and the next minute she inserted the cannula. There was a slight sting but it didn't hurt.
They wheeled me into theatre. I saw 2 big lights above and though shizz thats some serious lighting up there, I kept thinking that my baby would be here soon and I felt butterflies in my tummy. I felt like I was on a set of a movie.
They moved me onto another bed and sat me up on the edge. Because I was so short, they put a chair and a pillow under me so I could rest my feet. Unfortunately D wasn't allowed in the room while I was getting the spinal, he waited outside and watched. I saw all the different instruments lined up on trays and I could hear the nurses counting them.
The anaesthetist told me that she was about to put some generals in and told me to hunch over the pillow I was hugging. A male nurse came over and I held onto him for dear life. I closed my eyes and held him tightly while they put a few coats of some cold wash over my lower back. For some reason I kept seeing images of Sydney Harbour while I had my eyes closed, it helped calm me, I guess. Then the anaesthetist told me she was about to do the spinal. That I had to stay very still otherwise she would have to do it again. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and hugged the poor nurse, there was also another nurse who rubbed my shoulder. They all told me that I was doing great.
I felt the spinal go in. I let out a little scream. The nurse said he could see D peeking through the window like a sad puppy and that made me laugh. It was uncomfortable and soon I felt like I pee'd myself. My legs felt heavy and warm. They helped move me into the lying position. I remember seeing my legs but felt like that didn't belong to me.
Once I was lying down, everything happened so fast. D was now next to me holding my hand. My OB was next to me, the screen went up. I still couldn't believe it was happening.
I felt a lot of tugging and pulling, my upper body was swaying around. They were really digging in in there but there was no pain. It just felt kind of heavy. It took a few minutes and I heard my OB ask for forceps. My OB said good choice E, we would've ended up here anyway. Thank God.
At 0829am she was born. My OB lifted her up and I saw her beautiful face. We touched hands and it was instant love. I cried. I couldn't believe that this little baby girl was in my belly, kicking around these past 9 months. Hearing her cry sounded like I was in heaven. Amazing. The nurses asked if we had a name and we both said Amelia.
D went over to cut her cord while I watched her from a distance. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.
They wrapped her nice and tight and I held her and got to kiss her sweet face for the first time. D took footage of this on my camera. I had a little chat with her, smothered her with kisses and said Happy Birthday. She let out a little wimper and my heart grew 10,000 times bigger.
I started to feel very tired and it was hard to keep my eyes open. The anaesthetist told me that this was normal and was due to adrenaline and hormonal changes. D was worried that I was going to lose consciousness because he saw it happen on What to expect when you're expecting. Haha!
I had to give her back to Daddy while the OBs fixed me up. I remember them talking like they were catching up for coffee at a Cafe. So odd. I looked into the lights and saw my reflection but it didn't register. Once it did I kept looking at the door. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME NOT TO LOOK INTO THE LIGHTS? Hahahaha! I swear I saw my insides.
Once everything was done, they moved me off the table and onto a bed. I remember a really attractive guy coming in pushing the bed. I freaked out because I was nude under my gown and the damn thing didn't have a back. They had to lift me onto the other bed and he copped a nice view of my bum. How embarrassing. Hahahaha!
It was very cold in recovery. They attached things onto to my legs to help with circulation and a few nice warm blankets. I had a little snooze and the nurses woke me with ice to see if I had any feeling back. I saw a fat yellow thing at the end of the bed and asked them what it was. "that's your leg hun!" obviously I couldn't feel it yet.
About 40 minutes later, I was moved to my room and reunited with my baby and baby daddy. We had skin to skin and A nursed straight away. I was worried that my milk wouldn't come in because I had a c-section but my big DD's had no problems in that department :)
The lunch lady came in with my tray. I was excited because I had ticked everything on the menu hoping I could share with D but they changed it. "thats's not mine" I said to the midwife. She just laughed. I was on a liquid diet until I did a number 2. I had chicken stock and jelly. Booo.
The next 24 hours wasn't easy. I'm not going to lie. It hurt like a bitch. I just had major abdominal surgery! I had panadol in my drip and was given Endone every few for the pain. Endone, Goooooood.
The next morning, they removed my catheter and took the leg things off. When I stood up for the first time the next day I was petrified but it was ok. I took a few small steps to the bathroom and went to the toilet. It felt so strange. D stood there the whole time incase I fainted. He even changed my pad. New level of love right there.
I've read so many negative stories about c-sections. I know some people feel robbed of their labour experience but that wasn't the case for me. I made this decision as it was the best idea for A and me. It was still scary as hell but it wasn't bad. I still had a very positive birthing experience. It was perfect, I was happy, I had amazing support from my husband, family and my OB.